Am I a High-Functioning Codependent? Here’s How to Know

You’re the one who always shows up.

The one who remembers the birthdays, juggles the deadlines, fills in the gaps—quietly, competently, and without asking for help.

You get things done, hold everyone together, and make it all look effortless. But inside? You’re tired. You’re nervous system is wrecked.

And you might be wondering: Why do I feel so empty despite doing so much?

This may be more than burnout.

You might be a High-Functioning Codependent (a term coined by the rockstar Terri Cole)–someone who is strong, successful, and competent on the outside, but whose inner world is tangled up in people-pleasing, over-functioning, and chronic self-betrayal.

Here are a few signs that might resonate:

• You feel responsible for how others feel—attempting to please others, prioritize their comfort over your own needs, or walk on eggshells—even when it drains you

• You give instant advice, often without being asked

• You say “yes” when you mean “no,” then feel resentful later

• You over-prepare, over-plan, and overthink everything

• You struggle to ask for help and prefer doing it all yourself

• You have difficulty identifying your own wants and needs

• You are overly invested in what others think about you (may include conscious or unconscious attempts to control people’s opinion of you)

• You scan for problems constantly, hoping to prevent chaos or conflict

• You have a hard time respecting other people’s boundaries (and their sovereignty) without interfering

• You adjust your needs or shrink yourself to avoid upsetting anyone

• You’re overdoing and over-functioning is a compulsion…it’s challenging to not only see, but stop (like an itch that needs to be scratched)

• You’re exhausted—but can’t seem to slow down without guilt

• It’s hard to set boundaries, and even harder to stick to them 

  
  

If this feels like your inner world, you’re not broken—you’re human. These behaviors are adaptive, often rooted in early experiences where love was confused with emotional dependency, where your boundaries were never taught and/or often crossed.

But these survival strategies are no longer serving you, and your body knows it.

Healing High-Functioning Codependency isn’t about doing more.

It’s about unlearning. Slowing down. Coming home to your own body, your own voice, your own Truth.

You don’t have to keep proving your worth by holding it all together.

You are already worthy of love, rest, support, and ease.

✨ Want to explore this more deeply?

Take my High-Functioning Codependency Self-Check (www.thirdrealmintegration.com), or reach out for a free 15-minute consultation.

This is the beginning of something new—and you don’t have to walk it alone. I see you, and I understand. Let’s walk this path together.